You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
