p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
My Sexting was not on an AP level
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
