At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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