Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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