This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
