he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Randomize