So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Randomize
