2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
