dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
