somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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