my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize