Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Randomize