I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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