So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
