She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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