I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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