I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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