what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
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