3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
