We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
