I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
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