Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize