Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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