Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
