He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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