I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
