K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
