yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
