weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize