But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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