And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Just pee around me
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
