honey bunches of taint.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
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The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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