I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
