She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
