so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
