Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
