The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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