If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Randomize
