Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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