dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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