Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
