It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
