the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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