What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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