i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
How naked do you want me to be?
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