I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
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The police scanner is talking about you again....
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
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apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.