then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
We left an ass print on the piano.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.