thanks...oh and i got my period
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
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i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
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New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.