I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.