No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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