This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
