i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
