Who wears a wallet chain?!
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I will be naked everywhere
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize
