Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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