if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
