you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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