everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
