Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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