Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
