i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
