This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
