I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
