Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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