Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
