if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
